Log On

So you are considering killing yourself? You’re not alone. But wait a bit first. I’m not going to yell at you or call you a chickenshit. I’m just going to offer a different point of view first. And yes, I’m a suicide survivor in more than one way, so you best just keep reading because yes, I do understand that rollercoaster you are feeling right now.

The thing we learn in this life, or at least what I've learned, is that we really don't learn anything at all. The more we know the more we realize what we don’t know. We learn we are selfish.

We are all selfish because that is how we are raised to be. It's in our genes, it's in our blood. After all, isn't survival an instinct, and isn't surviving selfish? We put our individual needs in front of others in order to survive. That’s the way things are, that’s how we are brought up.

From the moment we are borne from the womb to the moment we pass our final breath, we cry for comfort and strive to achieve it. We do it through the limited means in which we are given.

If there is a supreme being, which I believe there is, he or she or it designated it such. There is so much more that we must learn for ourselves: how to help others that fail or falter or misstep.

The saddest part of being able to help is that we must stand in their shoes first; we must walk their path. If we don’t, we don’t know what sorrow really is. And only before death, passing on, that moment before we draw our final breath do we understand what life is truly about. So we need to make their mistakes. We need to experience loss. We must understand sorrow.

Sounds odd, doesn’t it? Sorrow is joy. It doesn’t matter how, or why. It’s just simply joy. We can easily find sorrow in everything that surrounds us, but just as much we can find happiness, and learning is an experience we are gifted with. So is sharing what we’ve learned through the media available to us as a society.

I think the bible has quite a bit to say about things as does all religious writings. One must look at not the words, but the intent to draw a meaning from it. No matter the method or the means, we must look with our dying and decaying eyes at the world around us, and help those that require it.

Life is simply that. We help, and try to do no harm. We may tread upon feelings hurt others without knowing about it and then feel sorry, and being sorry is a natural function of any living being. But learning from it and avoiding those mistrodden steps is what makes us the leaders in this world that we are given.

I can feel sorry about so much in my life, and I do. But being sorry doesn’t help anything at all. If I could approach that young man of my early years with my now grizzled soul and leathered skin, appear to this bright youth and tell him not to worry about so many things, that life will grant him his dreams and desires, I would. And now I do to you to those that are willing to listen.

Many a time have similar words been spoken and written. It’s only with age and understanding, wisdom, cut or lost teeth and blurry vision, do those words finally take heed. I want you to understand that if indeed you find yourself in a time or place where there seems as no escape from horrors or sadness is available, that’s life. Life itself is a gift and these emotions are not trials nor tribulations. They are simply the path that one has to take. And you're taking it well, because you wound up here somehow.

Your life is precious. Take care of those around you, and do not expect anything in return. Ever. You can accept the fact that you did what was required of partaking in this life: to give back.

Every animal gives. Life for food, life for clothes. We as a society take. It’s only when a member of that society gives that we become, as a group, better than anything else on this planet. We also inherit the responsibility of solitude and loneliness by doing so, but that is our path.

You may be called names. You may be chastised. You may be beaten, abused, taken advantage of. You may be praised or may be cursed. There is nothing in the sky that answers your prayers, but you ability to say them is indication enough that something is greater than you.

By understanding sorrow you have contributed back. If you are about to take your own life, just be sure that there isn’t anything you could be doing to help others less fortunate than you. You may not get immediate joy from it, but don’t waste what was given to you. It’s only at times like these that you will understand that you do have a purpose, and you can give someone a smile, and that’s sometimes all that’s needed in this world.

Just give back something. Make a child smile, help a struggling parent. Give back. You’ve experienced what life has to offer, and that counts. Help others avoid the problems; it is your life to take, but make it count before you do. That bum on the street corner? He says something. If you are of able mind and body and made it this far, you can always contribute back.

Go to bed. Your life isn’t over. Wake up, and call your local charitable institution whether it’s a soup kitchen or goodwill or church, doesn't matter if you believe their teachings or not. Just  help others, because they need it and are afraid to ask. Suicide is not something for the fearful, and if you feel like doing it, then you don't really have any fear. Put that energy to good use. You may think life is over waking up after not showering or changing clothes in days and feel embarrassed, but think of that small kid who doesn’t know anything different than that. Give their parent a hand. If they refuse it, move on to the next. Some kids really get a joy out of the smallest of gifts yet you are given the best gift of all: life, and a mind to go with it.

Don’t be selfish. You can help. You may never be noted by the world, but for that one parent’s or kid’s reality, you are the most important person in their life. Even if it’s just for a day, you helped.

Erp   Q3   Mapping  Resume